marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
