I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
my shit smells like andre
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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