You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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