You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
