We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
