i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
