He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
