They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
