WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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