Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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