omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
