I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
