I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
