I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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