We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
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