So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
