I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
