whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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