i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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