its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
