I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
