he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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