I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
