Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
you didnt know i had herpes?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Randomize
