my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
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