ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
