My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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