I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Randomize
