i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
There r osticjed everywhere
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
