Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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