i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
