Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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