Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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