my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
