I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
