I am in a vortex of obligation.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
