Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
