New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
