That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
