Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
