used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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