The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
