Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
