We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
