Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
