some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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