ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
