My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
