Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
