oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
