It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
