Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
