actually, I'm a sock model
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
